Before You Get to the Point
There are small encounters in which we know exactly what we need.
A question answered.
A plan confirmed.
A little help with something.
An update about the day.
The practical part is clear.
So we go straight to it.
We walk into a room and begin with what needs doing.
We ask a question while thinking about the answer.
We speak to someone while already moving toward the next thing.
Usually, there is no unkindness in it.
We are simply carrying the momentum of the day.
But an encounter is more than the information that passes between two people.
There is also the feeling we get from being acknowledged and engaged with.
Or from being barely heard and hurried past.
Sometimes we remember very little of what was said in an ordinary exchange.
But we remember that someone seemed pleased to see us, or that they looked up and gave us their attention.
Or that we felt like one more interruption in their already crowded day.
These impressions can begin in the first few seconds.
And sometimes stay with us much longer.
Try this:
Choose one ordinary encounter today.
Before getting to your question, request, or piece of news, give the other person one unhurried moment.
Turn toward them.
Let your attention arrive before your words do.
Say hello, or use their name if that feels natural.
Allow a brief moment for the two of you to be there together.
Then get to whatever needs doing.
It may take only a few seconds.
This is not about putting on a cheerful face.
Not every encounter calls for a smile, a long greeting, or a conversation.
Some people prefer a little more space.
Some moments call for directness.
You do not have to make someone feel a particular way.
Just give the person a moment of your attention before asking something of them.
It might be someone you live with, someone you work with, or someone helping you in a shop.
Someone familiar enough that you hardly notice the greeting anymore.
Or someone you may never meet again.
They might notice the difference.
They might not.
You cannot know what they have brought into the encounter, or what they will take from it.
But you can choose how you enter.
For one small encounter, do not hurry past the person on your way to the point.
Let the person come first.
Then get to the point.
From time to time, I add new Quiet Acts - small practices for making your days a little more aligned and a little less rushed.
If you'd like, you can receive new Acts by email.
And for those days when life feels heavier than usual - crowded, uncertain, lonely, painful, or hard to name - you might find my short guide Quiet Acts for Difficult Days useful.